Yesterday was my annual mammogram. This day takes on an added importance when you have lost a mother to breast cancer.
The smells of the hospital, sounds of gurneys moving about and the whir of machinery take me back in time. Even eight years after losing my Mother, my five senses pick up and transport me back to uncomfortable memories. I’m a daughter hoping for a few more days with my beloved Mom.
Jean Parvin was a warrior and fought cancer to the end. The hospice staff considered sending her home because Mom had become the longest patient at the center. In my Mother’s world, every day mattered, even at the end when it was time to go. She just couldn’t give up. I admired that about her while still wishing her a peaceful journey.
One time Mom looked at me and said, “I always wanted to live to be 80.” It was the first time she uttered those words aloud. Soon thereafter she added, “But, I know I have drawn the short end of the straw.” She was 77.
From the beginning of her 15-year battle with this vile disease, we had agreed to talk openly with one another. So, we talked together and admonished the oncologist to always be honest with us both. It was a good decision.
I’m not a quitter and Mom wasn’t either. She just ran out of time and ran short of her 80-year age goal.
Yesterday, I sat in the waiting room saying the Lord’s Prayer. I didn’t want special favors; I just wanted to feel Mom’s loving spirit again…just a magic moment with her. That moment arrived when they told me I was clear for another year and I swear I could feel her presence in the room with me.
Thank you Lord Jesus for my Mother who taught me how to live and taught me how to die. I am deeply blessed.
“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12