I’m tired of this dirty, tired, and doubting heart. I long for a clean heart filled with love and longing for a deeper walk with Christ.
There are days when I am full of wonder and there are days that I am not.
When I think of God, I think too often with my head and intellect. I try to discern the meaning of scripture, instead; I should be seeking God with my heart.
It is easy for me to believe in God, it is easy to follow man-made rules, it is easy to listen to leaders and prophets but it is not so easy to listen with the heart. To listen with a pure heart is to be open to God without reservation.
To open your heart risks hurt. To seek God with your whole heart requires giving your very soul and essence to the Lord.
I want to say that I have done a good job of this but I am a work in progress. I love the Lord with all my heart and all my soul, but my heart is heavy and burdensome. I worry. I fret. I want to know the future and what it holds for those I love. I want control.
I feel my heart beating in my chest. I feel the heaviness of a heart that hurts so much for this world. I want to give it all away to Him who loves me more than I can imagine.
It is my loving Father who made my heart beat and it is that same beating heart that longs for a deeper relationship with Him.
In the words of a famous hymn, “Take my heart, it is Thine own, it shall be Thy royal throne.” Oh, that is may be so.
The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught.” Isaiah 29:13
Honestly, I hate palm trees.
As a native Floridian, I know that may sound sacrilegious but I really find them to be ugly, messy trees. They just don’t have the beauty of the willowy drake elm or fine spread of a wide oak tree. However, in Jesus’ time the palm branch symbolized triumph and victory. I get it.
So this week, I’m all about the palms. It’s Palm Sunday tomorrow and a day to remember something special. It was a great day when people cheered Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem.
Every day I welcome Jesus into my heart and home. I love Him so. I pray, read, study and discuss the Bible with friends. I talk about Jesus grace and love for me. I worship Him.
But, I also know that I don’t live up to my Christian calling. I make mistakes, big mistakes, and I am not the person God has called me to be. It’s not for lack of trying; it is simply the failings of the flesh and the sinful nature of my soul. I don’t want to sin, I just do.
So while I know that I would have almost certainly be in the crowd praising Jesus’ arrival, I wonder if I wouldn’t have also been one to stand at the cross. Would I have denied him three times or would I have carried His cross?
I know what I would hope to do. I know how much I love Jesus. But I also know that God knows all of this and loves me just the same. Grace, grace, God’s grace – grace that is greater than my sin.
In my heart, I’m waving my palm branch! Hosanna!
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
Oh sweet peace…such an illusive thing in this world.
When Jesus speaks to His disciples, He knows the future and He knows that true peace will not be something found in this world but only through Him. Jesus is the One who sacrificed His life for us ensuring an eternity covered under grace and love. A glory-filled and peaceful future. This verse still speaks to us today. It rings true and is comforting.
Struggle is an integral part of life. Succumbing to despair over struggle is a choice. I don’t know if all encompassing peace will ever be attained in this lifetime; but, I rest my heart, my soul, and my hope on Jesus and I know that peace will come.
It will come…someday.