My Soul Will Wait for the Lord…the Watch

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Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Simon,” he said to Peter, “are you asleep? Couldn’t you keep watch for one hour? Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Mark 14:37-38

Loneliness is a terrible thing. The fear that grows from the despair of loneliness can be difficult to bear.

I have experienced a deep sense of loss and loneliness. But, I have never experienced or could even fathom what Jesus felt that night in the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus counts on His beloved disciples to watch with Him as He prays. They can’t do it.

As sweat turns to blood and Jesus cries out in prayer to the Father, the disciples sleep.

Preparing to drink from the cup filled with the sins of mankind would be beyond human comprehension. It is unimaginable. But Christians believe in the unimaginable. We believe in a Savior who died for us. We could not drink a cup containing just our own personal sins. So, imagine the sins of the world…it is too much to ask of anyone.

But Jesus went on that lonely journey to death for me and for you. He carried the cross, endured the humiliation, the beatings, and the pain for our sins.

Tonight, I watch for one hour. One hour of my time for a lifetime of grace.

I sit and I watch and I am grateful. I sit and I know I am unworthy but I sit and I am glad. I sit remembering His sacrifice and I mourn until I can rejoice again.

I sit…

Rest assured…

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Most of my days are filled with activities and work and scheduling conflicts. I’m always on the go.

But at some point my body and my mind just wear out and let me know I need to rest. I don’t know about you, but it’s hard to rest. The minute I try to do so, my mind starts thinking of all the things that I could get done. All the things I need to get done and I worry about what is left undone.

Today, I slept till 10:30 am. I can’t remember the last time I slept that late. When I saw the clock, I could not believe that no phone rang, no child tried to wake me and the dogs laid quietly at my side. All the stars aligned today for a perfect morning of rest.

I realize that we have to work and we have to do things to support our families. But I also think that some days we just have to let ourselves be quiet and rest. It is in the resting that we are refreshed and ready to love others as Christ commands us to do. It is hard to love others when you don’t love yourself enough to take a break.

I think I will try to do it more often.