God is just a Heartbeat Away.

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There are days when I am full of wonder and there are days that I am not.

When I think of God, I think too often with my head and intellect. I try to discern the meaning of scripture, instead; I should be seeking God with my heart.

It is easy for me to believe in God, it is easy to follow man-made rules, it is easy to listen to leaders and prophets but it is not so easy to listen with the heart. To listen with a pure heart is to be open to God without reservation.

To open your heart risks hurt. To seek God with your whole heart requires giving your very soul and essence to the Lord.

I want to say that I have done a good job of this but I am a work in progress. I love the Lord with all my heart and all my soul, but my heart is heavy and burdensome. I worry. I fret. I want to know the future and what it holds for those I love. I want control.

I feel my heart beating in my chest. I feel the heaviness of a heart that hurts so much for this world. I want to give it all away to Him who loves me more than I can imagine.

It is my loving Father who made my heart beat and it is that same beating heart that longs for a deeper relationship with Him.

In the words of a famous hymn, “Take my heart, it is Thine own, it shall be Thy royal throne.” Oh, that is may be so.

The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught.” Isaiah 29:13

Palm Sunday

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Honestly, I hate palm trees.

As a native Floridian, I know that may sound sacrilegious but I really find them to be ugly, messy trees. They just don’t have the beauty of the willowy drake elm or fine spread of a wide oak tree. However, in Jesus’ time the palm branch symbolized triumph and victory. I get it.

So this week, I’m all about the palms. It’s Palm Sunday tomorrow and a day to remember something special. It was a great day when people cheered Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem.

Every day I welcome Jesus into my heart and home. I love Him so. I pray, read, study and discuss the Bible with friends. I talk about Jesus grace and love for me. I worship Him.

But, I also know that I don’t live up to my Christian calling. I make mistakes, big mistakes, and I am not the person God has called me to be. It’s not for lack of trying; it is simply the failings of the flesh and the sinful nature of my soul. I don’t want to sin, I just do.

So while I know that I would have almost certainly be in the crowd praising Jesus’ arrival, I wonder if I wouldn’t have also been one to stand at the cross. Would I have denied him three times or would I have carried His cross?

I know what I would hope to do. I know how much I love Jesus. But I also know that God knows all of this and loves me just the same. Grace, grace, God’s grace – grace that is greater than my sin.

In my heart, I’m waving my palm branch! Hosanna!

Poor, poor, pitiful me.

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Today was not an easy day. I like easy days.

In my chosen profession as a real estate agent, I am often part UN peace negotiator, Jack-of-all-trades and a soft shoulder to cry on. Problem is, no one wants to hear me cry. I compare my job to someone who works with newborns, brides and funeral home directors. We all reach people at emotional highs and lows. Some days are better than others but most days are pretty darn great.

But today was not one of those days.

However, as I prepare to go to sleep, I am reminded of the fact that I am pretty pitiful. Actually, I’m pretty pathetic. I have an awesome, soft and comfortable bed to lay my weary body upon. I have enjoyed a hot shower and my kids made dinner followed by a home-made pound cake. What in the world do I have to complain about? A roof, a bed and a full belly. Sounds like a pretty great day.

I have already asked Jesus to forgive me. My ungrateful heart is not worthy of His love and grace and yet I know He will be kind to me.

Tonight I will lay my head down and thank God for all the gifts that I am lucky enough to enjoy. I will thank Him for family, friends and pound cake. I’ll ask Him to give me a heart filled with gratitude and bless those who surround me.

God’s grace makes every day a blessing which is something I should never forget. May it be so.

I Am Jesus Little Lamb

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I am Jesus’ little lamb,
Ever glad at heart I am;
For my Shepherd gently guides me,
Knows my need, and well provides me,
Loves me every day the same,
Even calls me by my name.

When my daughter JJ was in Kindergarten, her class performed this song at an Easter concert. It wasn’t just because she was my youngest daughter but the words of the song and the earnest way she was singing made me cry.

There are certain moments in life that just stick in your memory forever. We like to call them “Kodak” moments. It was not really a special day or a momentous occasion but there was something about that day that made me stop all thought and just reflect on how precious life is and I knew I would remember it forever. My little girl reminded me of a time of innocence, love and faith. It was heavenly.

Anyone who knows me or reads this blog can tell that I like sheep. We say each Sunday “Oh Lamb of God that takest away the sins of the world, have mercy upon us”. Like my sweet daughter, I say it in earnest because each week I need mercy. Each week I need forgiveness and each week I crave a reminder that God loves us more than we can imagine.

Ever glad at heart I am…